


there's something in the air you can't deny

by bluebaric



Series: it's just a matter of time [2]
Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cheerleaders, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Polyamory, i gave chaeyoung my depression and now dahyun gets my anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27183680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluebaric/pseuds/bluebaric
Summary: Dahyun’s heart sank. She sat down hard on the first row of the bleachers, hands cradling her cheeks, and let out a deep, mournful groan. How was she going to survive practice everyday with the girl she was pretty sure she was in love with and her girlfriend?Dahyun is JYP High's new mascot. Sana and Momo are on the cheer squad with her. Pining ensues.
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Kim Dahyun/Minatozaki Sana
Series: it's just a matter of time [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984262
Comments: 16
Kudos: 172





	1. Freshman Year

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, welcome to the fic. I've been writing it for probably over a year now, finally felt like I should post it. It takes place in the same universe as my chaeyu high school fic (but not the same universe as my saida high school fic, god i need to write in another genre). In any case, you don't need to read the previous fic to understand this one, but it might add some context. I think the tones of the fics are pretty different though. Anyways, enough of my talking, please enjoy!

Dahyun’s neck was starting to ache. She shifted her weight from side to side, scuffing the toe of her shoe against the linoleum, worrying her lip between her teeth. The day-glo colors seared her eyes, and the books in her arms grew heavier with each passing second. She also needed to pee. She didn’t move.

Her eyes, though, were in constant motion, scanning the bulletin board with something feverish, bordering on anxiety. A vindictive combination of nerves and frigid AC sent shivers down her spine, raising goosebumps her sweater could do little to help. Students passed her, shouting down the hall and laughing with their friends. She was deaf to it all. The fliers papering the wall called out to her instead, tearing her attention from one extracurricular to another: Drama, Debate, Student Council, Football, Basketball, Baseball, Anime club. Each poster made it’s pitch, advertising teamwork or creativity or Fullmetal Fridays. She didn’t really want to join any of them. She didn’t move. 

Dahyun had always been the kind of kid no one knew how to deal with. If people were feeling charitable, she was “creative” or “a bit hyper”; if they were not, “loud,” “annoying,” and “nuisance” were not out of the question. Teachers at least had the decency to say so discreetly, in report cards and the occasional letter home when her antics went a little too far. Her peers had not been so considerate. 

If you’d asked kindergarten Dahyun how she felt about her lack of friends, she would’ve told you that her legos and stuffed animals were friends enough. But eventually, everyone outgrows their legos and stuffed animals are passed on to younger siblings. By the time she reached high school, Dahyun was completely unrecognizable as the hyperactive kid with perpetual skinned knees and marker stain tattoos on her arms. She sank back into herself, became quieter and more reserved. She accrued a shyness that had never been there before. The letters home from teachers were filled with nothing but the utmost praise for her work ethic and decorum. Friends were still not quite forthcoming, but she made an effort to not let that bother her. That isn’t to say it worked 100% of the time, but she told herself she was content.

In spite of Dahyun’s tentative internal peace, her parents harbored concerns. Even as they beamed with pride at every A+ and perfect piano recital, they still remembered the child that would sing loud songs to protest bedtime or try to jump her razor scooter over the creek. She’d been a handful, sure, but she’d been happy, and that was all that they wanted for her. They’d subtly been nudging her towards going out more, trying to find some way to express all the excitement she held inside, an outlet that might even allow her some friends. Dahyun wanted to make her parents happy, and maybe the loneliness got to her more than she wanted to admit. So she parked herself in front of the club bulletin board in the front hall before school began and she didn’t move.

She just needed to sign up for something. Anything. She just needed to reach out, stare down the challenge of those daunting blank lines beneath each flier, and confidently sign her name. Maybe even do it in cursive if she was feeling frisky. If she could just take that leap, she would come that much closer to overcoming her bashfulness once and for all. But she didn’t move.

The first bell of the day rang overhead, signaling five minutes until the beginning of first period. The crowds in the hallway started to thin out. Dahyun was shaken from the stupor she’d found herself in, and a sense of urgency started to seep in. Her eyes flicked frantically from club to club: Literary Arts Magazine, AV club, Yearbook, Art club—

“Hey, look at cheerleading!”

_Cheerleading?_

Dahyun was suddenly uprooted from her station in front of the board, ducking out of the way as a girl came barreling towards it, zeroed in on the bright purple flier printed with the JYP cheer logo. Curled back against the lockers, Dahyun watched through a curtain of her hair as the girl was joined by two of her friends, clearly not as intrigued by the anthropomorphic eagle vigorously shaking pom poms that graced the center of the poster as she was. In a second, Dahyun recognized them, their purple and white uniforms, and prayed that the invisibility that had carried her since middle school wouldn’t fail her now. Despite what movies might lead you to believe, cheerleaders at JYP were not renowned for their cruelty, but they were, in line with the stereotypes, very pretty. And pretty girls made Dahyun nervous, okay?

“We have to get to class,” Yoo Jeongyeon protested. 

Im Nayeon ignored her, flipping through the cheer sign up sheet, which had grown so long that extra pages had been stapled on to meet the demand.

“Look at how many people are trying out,” she remarked, awe in her tone.

Jeongyeon snorted. “Someone should’ve told them they’d have practice with you everyday, we could’ve weeded out the faint of heart.”

“Yoo Jeongyeon,” Nayeon gasped, slapping her friend’s shoulder, then smirking, flouncing her hair a little bit. “You know this list would be twice as long if they knew they were competing for the pleasure of my company.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

The duo dissolved into childish squabbling, but the third girl’s attention was fixed on the bulletin board. Concern lined Park Jihyo’s face as she scanned the list, and, flipping through it, a frown creased her brow. Just as Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s altercation was about to turn physical, she looked up.

“Will you two give it a rest for like one minute?”

They paused, and Nayeon took the opportunity to shove Jeongyeon away. “Ooh, Jihyo’s mad at you.”

Jihyo rolled her eyes and pointed at the board, directing their attention to a paper next to the cheer sign up. Dahyun had scanned that entire board for nearly half an hour, but had somehow glossed right over it. Now she squinted, trying to make out what was written on it. Jeongyeon answered the question for her.

“The mascot?” she asked. “She graduated last year?”

“Well, that sucks,” Nayeon said. “She was the best. Remember when she stole Coach Lee’s whistle last year and blew it any time he started talking?”

“I am going to miss her.” Jeongyeon shook her head regrettably. “Especially since we’ll actually have to listen to Coach Lee this year.”

“But look who’s signed up to replace her.” Jihyo pointed. 

Jeongyeon squinted. “Um, nobody?”

“Exactly!” Jihyo said, so emphatic Nayeon flinched back. “Tryouts are this afternoon and no one is signed up.

“I can’t say I really blame them,” Jeongyeon shrugged. “Being the mascot is kind of lame.”

“Oh my gosh, it’s perfect for you!” Nayeon exclaimed, much to Jeongyeon’s chagrin. “After tryouts we can get you fitted for the eagle head.”

“Oh, shut up.”

The second bell rang, signaling the beginning of class. Dahyun cringed. The cheerleaders seemed to share the sentiment. 

Nayeon groaned. “Damn it, we’re gonna be late.”

“If only someone had warned you this was going to happen,” Jeongyeon said.

“Okay, you know what?”

“What?”

“Guys!”

“Sorry, Jihyo.”

The trio headed down the hall, leaving Dahyun alone, returned to her post in front of the bulletin board. Her eyes no longer frantically scanned the options. For reasons she couldn’t explain, she was locked on the mascot sign up.

It was an insane idea. Jeongyeon hadn’t been wrong when she said being the mascot was kind of lame. Dahyun had been lucky enough to escape middle school relatively unscathed, flying so far under the radar she was practically on the ground. Why should the bullies taunt Dahyun, who quietly did her work and didn’t talk to anyone, when there were far easier targets to be had? The last thing she needed was to give them a reason to look at her twice. `

But she would be anonymous, a quiet, frustratingly-reasonable voice in the back of her mind whispered. And she could make people laugh, and get them excited. And she would be friends with people like Im Nayeon and Park Jihyo. 

Dahyun internally cursed herself and scrabbled through her pockets to find a pen. Beating back doubt and hesitation as it threatened to overwhelm her, she reached out and shakily scribbled her name on the first line of the mascot sign up sheet. She clicked her pen, looking around to see if any last stragglers in the hallway had seen what she’d done, and scampered away like a frightened rabbit, trying to find an excuse for her History teacher as to why she was late to class. 

The school gymnasium had never been a place Dahyun felt overly comfortable. Her awkward demeanor never translated into any great success at sports, and a lack of athleticism was something only stomachable when shared with friends. Without any to speak of, years of being the last pick for dodgeball and finishing the mile run behind everyone else left their scars. All of that compounded with general tryout anxiety was mixing a strong cocktail of nerves in the pit of Dahyun’s stomach, and she wasn’t sure how long she could keep it down.

When she’d walked into the gym, the group of girls sitting on the bleachers had only been about a dozen strong, but already far more intimidating that Dahyun was prepared to deal with. She sat just slightly to the side, hoping none of them would take notice, and listened silently to their chattering. They shared her fears, which set her at ease just slightly, but it seemed like they’d all been preparing for this tryout for months. Dahyun’s rash decison was starting to feel a bit less brave and reasonable, and a bit more completely stupid.

After about 15 minutes of stewing in her worries, the doors to the gym were closed and the conversations all faded to whispers. A girl with blonde hair, donning the JYP cheer uniform, stood in front of the group of 40 or so, clipboard clasped to her chest. 

“Hello!” she greeted brightly. There were some murmured responses, but Dahyun couldn’t even open her mouth. There was a resounding swoop in her stomach, clearing away the convulsing tangle nerves and leaving behind only lightly-fluttering butterflies. This girl was quite possibly the most beautiful person in the world. Her eyes lit up the room, the only two stars on an inclement horizon. Her smile, wide and unabashed, was dangerously blinding, but Dahyun couldn’t tear her gaze away. That is, until the girl looked right at her, at which point Dahyun blushed furiously and ducked, hardly lifting her head to hear the rest of the speech. 

“Welcome to tryouts,” the girl continued, the pep in her voice utterly infectious. “My name is Minatozaki Sana, and I’m the vice captain of the team this year. Our captain Sunmi couldn’t make it, so I will be conducting the auditions today. I hope you’re all excited and I can’t wait to see what you’ll bring to the squad!”

There was a light smattering of applause, which Dahyun weakly partook in, and then the tryouts began. Sana called out names from the list on her clipboard, would ask a couple of questions, and then the applicant would perform a quick routine. It was simple and casual, thanks in no small part to Sana’s preternatural ability to set everyone she spoke to at ease. Though everyone who performed did an excellent job, (notably a sophomore named Mina, quiet and graceful, who did a running flip and landed in a perfect split, so impressive that even the other girls trying out couldn’t hide their awe) Dahyun’s eyes hardly ever left Sana. There was just something magnetic about her. Her laugh echoed across the entire gym and the little cheers she would give to every girl sent equivalent little ripples through Dahyun’s chest. 

Distracted as she was, Dahyun didn’t notice the gym slowly emptying until Sana turned around to scan the bleachers and suddenly she was painfully aware that she was the only one left. Unable to avoid eye contact this time, Dahyun met Sana’s gaze hesitantly. The cheerleader grinned. 

“Hey,” she beckoned Dahyun closer, a little concerned crinkle in her brow, “did I forget to call your name or?”

“N-no,” Dahyun stammered, clenching her fists at her side as she shuffled towards Sana. “I, uh, I signed up to try out for the mascot.”

“Oh,” Sana giggled. “Silly me.” She flipped through the papers on her clipboard until she got to the last one. “Kim Dahyun?”

“That’s me.” The urge to chew at her lip was getting overwhelming.

Sana nodded, then looked back down at the list. “Well, looks like you’re the only one who signed up,” she said. “So, congrats! You’re the new Eddy the Eagle!”

“Really?” Dahyun asked, but there must not have been a lot of enthusiasm in her tone. Sana’s features bent into a little frown.

“You don’t sound all that excited,” she said. “What’s up?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Dahyun deflected. “I’m just nervous.”

“What are you nervous about?”

Dahyun shrugged self consciously. “I don’t know, I’m just worried I’m not going to do a very good job. It’s just that signing up was kind of a rash decision and it’s a lot of responsibility.” She didn’t know why she was saying all of this, but Sana just made her feel safe in ways she couldn’t explain, and the words were not asking for permission before they tumbled out of her mouth. “I mean, you didn’t even make me do a routine or anything, I might totally suck at this and then you guys are gonna have a sucky mascot and I’ll have ruined everything and let you all down and you seem like really cool people and I’d like to be friends with you all but you aren’t going to want that if I ruin everything and—”

“Dahyun,” Sana interrupted, bringing her hands up in a pacifying gesture.

“I’m sorry,” Dahyun said immediately, face burning with embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to unload all of that on you. You’re vice captain, you’ve got other stuff to worry about.”

“Hey, no, that’s not why I stopped you.” Sana smiled gently. “You don’t need to be so worried, okay? It’s not that serious, and everyone on the squad is super nice and will totally help you if you need it. But I’m sure you’re going to do an incredible job.”

Dahyun couldn’t meet her eye, blush spreading across her cheeks. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Sana said. “And I would already love to be your friend.”

“Oh, no, that was stupid for me to say, you don’t have to—” Dahyun said hurriedly, flustered beyond belief.

“I want to,” Sana insisted. “Not taking no for an answer. And my first request of you as your friend is that you stop calling yourself stupid.”

“Ah, well,” Dahyun was struggling with words at the moment. “If you insist.”

“I do.”

Dahyun chanced a look up and discovered that Sana was far too close to her face. There might have been a foot between them, but it felt like nothing more than an inch. The air surrounding them was syrupy, sweet and thick with tension, and Dahyun didn’t know if the fluttering in her stomach was anxiety or excitement. It was as though she was standing at the edge of a cliff, about to tip herself forwards into the sky.

The door to the gym banged open, and Dahyun recoiled, flush with the unique sensation that she’d been caught naked. The girl who’d interrupted was thoroughly casual, wearing a tracksuit over a crop top with “JYP Cheer” stamped across it in bold lettering. Sana’s eyes lit up impossibly further when she saw her. 

“Momo!” Sana called. “Come here!”

The newcomer meandered over, hands in her pockets. “I thought tryouts would be over by now.” 

“They are,” Sana said. “But I’d like to introduce you to someone.” She turned back to Dahyun, who hoped the signs of her surprise had been sufficiently hidden. “This is Kim Dahyun, she’s the new mascot and she is going to be incredible.”

Dahyun nearly folded in on herself under the pressure of that introduction, but Momo didn’t seem to notice. “Oh, really?”

“I wouldn’t say all that,” Dahyun said nervously. “I mean, yes, I am the new mascot, but we can only hope I’ll do as well as Sana believes I will.”

“Hey, don’t put yourself down,” Momo said. Her smile could almost rival Sana’s. Almost. “I bet you’ll be amazing. I mean, Sana said so, and she is an excellent judge of character.”

Sana glowed at the compliment. “Aw, babe.”

_Babe?_

Momo wrapped an arm around Sana’s shoulders and pecked her on the cheek.

_Oh._

“Well, if I’m going to be seeing you at practice every day, I should properly introduce myself.” Momo stuck out a hand. “Hirai Momo, student choreographer of JYP cheer and Sana’s girlfriend.”

_Ah._

Dahyun limply returned the handshake, trying not to let any emotion show on her face. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Momo returned. “Anyways, we’ve got a movie to catch, so we gotta bounce.”

“Alright then.” Dahyun couldn’t deny she was relieved the interaction was over. “Goodbye.”

“See you around,” Momo returned.

“Bye, Dahyunnie!” Sana called as they headed out the door. “We’ll see you at practice!”

Dahyun’s heart sank. _Practice._ She sat down hard on the first row of the bleachers, hands cradling her cheeks, and let out a deep, mournful groan. How was she going to survive practice everyday with the girl she was pretty sure she was in love with and her girlfriend?

The next few weeks represented the most dramatic shift of Dahyun’s life. Everywhere she looked, it was one change after another, rapid fire and inconsistent, a turbulent sea in which she was barely staying afloat. One wouldn’t think being recruited as the school mascot would have had such great effect, but nevertheless, Dahyun’s world was careering right off of its axis.

The first twist, unlikely though it had seemed, was that Dahyun found she actually _liked_ being the mascot. She really liked it. And she was an absolute natural, taking to the role like she’d been preparing for it for her entire life. She loved everything about it. She loved the energy, the ceremony, the t-shirt cannon. Despite all of her anxieties, it just came easily, never an awkward pause or a missed beat. She could dance like a fool, nearly bounce off the walls with excitement, and not lose steam. When the costume came off was another question, but for two hours at a time, she was the life of the party. And she really liked being the life of the party. 

Other people seemed to be liking it too. Another drastic change she experienced was the sudden loss of her invisibility. Sure, it would be hard for anyone to miss a giant bipedal eagle hitting the whoa, but being noticed was only the half of it. She wasn’t simply noticed, she was sought out. When she was in costume, students would come up to her for selfies, reach out to highfive her whenever she passed. Sure, they might think being the mascot was a little lame, and they didn’t know it was Dahyun underneath all those feathers, but that somehow made it even better. Dahyun never had to be shy or worry about being accepted. She was just Eddy the Eagle, everybody’s best friend. 

Friends. That was also one of the changes. Even in her most solitary of days, Dahyun had never been one to mope on her lack of companionship. Sure, it hadn’t been fun being alone every afternoon, doing homework weeks in advance because there was simply nothing more worthwhile to fill her time. But it never really hit her how lonely she’d been until suddenly she wasn’t anymore. Until she spent every afternoon at practice, surrounded by people and excitement and energy, the furthest from alone she’d ever been.

Sana hadn’t lied when she’d promised that everyone on the squad would be welcoming. Even though she was only the mascot, even though she was the only freshman on the team, even though there were a dozen other girls seemingly infinitely more outgoing and talented, it was impossible to feel left out. Just as everyone was smoothly integrated into the routines, each member had their place in the crazy riot that was the JYP Cheer Squad. Nayeon and Jeongyeon were constantly bickering, but also caring and gentle with the new recruits. Mina was just as fresh as Dahyun, incredibly talented in a wholly modest way and never reluctant to offer help. Jihyo was passionate and determined, pushed you hard but supported you every step of the way. And Sana… 

Sana was the sunshine. She’d held firm in her dedication to make Dahyun feel nothing but comfortable and appreciated on the squad. At practice each afternoon, she forwent her position at the front as vice captain, instead choosing to sit next to Dahyun while Sunmi led the practice. She whispered little comments to her, a proximity that sent shivers down Dahyun’s spine. At pep rallies, when the squad performed their routine and Dahyun sat on the sidelines, waiting for her cue, hardly a minute passed that Sana didn’t send her a smile or a heart or, most devastatingly, a wink. Upsettingly, under these circumstances, Dahyun’s little crush refused to be squashed and instead was nurtured, each day blossoming further until it hardly fit within the confines of her chest. 

Dahyun was by no means a stranger to crushes. Most girls who’d given her so much as a glance received their due week of hopeless pining and longing glances, before the reality of unrequited kicked in and she moved on. But she was stuck on Sana. The feelings stubbornly refused to dissipate, despite the fact that this was probably the most unrealistic, unattainable crush Dahyun had ever fostered. Because when Sana sat next to Dahyun during practice, she was actually sandwiched between Dahyun and Momo, her head cradled in the crook of Momo’s neck, her comments shared between them. Dahyun received winks, Momo received kisses. It admittedly stung, but what was most upsetting was that Dahyun couldn’t even hold harsh feelings towards her rival for Sana’s affections. Dahyun simply wasn’t the type to be bitter and Momo simply was too likeable. 

All in all, being recruited as the mascot was throwing Dahyun off of the deep end, kicking her out of her comfort zone. In times of great turbulence, she found haven in the tried and true, returning to her roots.

The JYP library was altogether rather unassuming. It was neither large nor extravagant, and it was mostly avoided by the population of the school due to traumatic affiliations with homework and desperation. Dahyun found it quite homey.

She settled herself at a table, cracking open a book and taking small bites of her sandwich, careful not to let any crumbs stray into the binding. The low hum of the air conditioning lulled her into a near hypnotized state, deeply absorbed in the book before her. Thanks to the yawning emptiness and legions of militant librarians with their strict no-talking policy, the library could come to resemble a mausoleum, fathomless and echoing silence, permanent and unbreakable.

There was a loud thunk of a book being placed on the checkout counter. Dahyun was broken from her haze, looking up to see a sight never before beheld. Momo, eyes wide, pouting at a stone-faced librarian.

“Please,” she pleaded. “I need this book for my next class.”

“You have four overdue books checked out, Ms. Hirai,” the librarian scolded. “I can’t let you take this.”

“But I need it,” Momo protested. She seemed to be growing more desperate with every second. “I swear, I have all the others at my house, I just keep forgetting to bring them in. You’ll have them by tomorrow, I just need this one right now.”

The librarian was stern as ever and Dahyun watched as all the hope in Momo seemed to wither. Dahyun would never be able to explain what overcame her in that moment.

“What if I check it out?” she asked, so quiet they almost didn’t hear her.

“What was that?” the librarian asked. At the sight of Dahyun, Momo lit up, her pout blooming into a bright smile.

“I’ll check the book out,” Dahyun repeated. “You know me, I’ll make sure it’s back in two weeks.”

The librarian still seemed skeptical, but she couldn’t seem to find a reason why Dahyun couldn’t check the book out. On unsteady knees, Dahyun walked over and slid her library card across the desk. The librarian scanned the book, suspicious and uptight, as only a librarian who’s been conned out of a good reprimanding could be, and left in a huff as soon as the process was complete. Dahyun’s heart was racing, like she’d run a marathon or done something she wasn’t supposed to for the first time in her life. It felt incredible.

“Thank you, Dahyunnie!” Momo exclaimed, pulling her into a crushing hug. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“Don’t mention it,” she choked out. Momo seemed to realize her own strength and released her grip. “It seemed like you really needed it.” Dahyun turned around, heading back to her table where her book and sandwich were waiting for her, but found herself being tailed.

“We were supposed to get this book so we could analyze it as a class, but I kept forgetting to buy it. Kind of like how I kept forgetting to bring in my overdue books,” Momo laughed self consciously. “But I promise, I’ll bring them all in tomorrow. Just for you.” She sat down, making herself at home in Dahyun’s little bubble of book and sandwich and silence. “So, what are you doing in here?”

“Uh,” Dahyun stalled. “Eating lunch.”

Momo frowned. “In the library?”

“Yeah,” Dahyun turned her eyes on the simulated woodgrain of the tabletop. She knew it was a cliche loser move to eat lunch alone in the library, but she really didn’t need to be called out on it. “You saw, I’m friends with the librarians, they gave me permission.” _‘Friends with the librarians,’ try to say something even lamer next time._

“No, not that,” Momo said. “I mean, why don’t you come eat at the cheer table?”

“Oh,” Dahyun was lost for words. The cheer table was the Mount Olympus of JYP High, for the mere mortals to gaze upon but never reach. The few times Dahyun had ventured out of the library and hazarded a trip to the cafeteria, the mere aura of the table had been enough to intimidate her. The idea of sitting there was genuinely unthinkable.

“We’d all love to have you,” Momo continued. “Jeongyeon has been dying to show you some meme video she thinks you should incorporate into your part of the routine. And Sana obviously never stops talking about you.”

There was no malice in the way she said it, but Dahyun couldn’t help but feel guilty at that. It was bad enough that she was harboring feelings for Momo’s girlfriend, Momo didn't have to be so nice to her about it. Clearly she didn’t know the true extent of Dahyun’s feelings, or else she would never be this kind. 

“That’s really nice of you to offer,” Dahyun said, trying to keep the color in her cheeks to a minimum. “But I don’t know, I didn’t think I was really, you know, part of that.” She couldn’t make the words come out the way she wanted, not with Momo looking at her with such sincerity.

“Part of what?” she asked gently.

“Sitting at the lunch table, talking outside of practice,” Dahyun stammered. “I just thought, I assumed…” She coughed. “I’ve never really done that before.”

“You’ve never eaten lunch with people before?” Momo asked, not in a scathing way, just being her genuine, slightly-confused self. It was still difficult to hear out loud. Dahyun shook her head, biting her lip and begging for God to strike her down where she sat.

Momo’s brow furrowed and the moment dragged on. Desperate to ease the awkwardness, Dahyun started rambling. “I don’t know why I told you that, I’m fine, it doesn’t really matter-”

“You know, I never really had a lot of friends other than Sana,” Momo interrupted. Dahyun fell silent. “She was always the loud and friendly, outgoing one. I was quieter, never branched out all that much.”

“Have you known each other for a long time?” Dahyun asked.

“As long as I can remember,” Momo said. “We were in kindergarten together, friends throughout all of elementary and middle school. I only started cheer because she begged me to do it with her. Of course, I’m super thankful for that now, I never would’ve discovered how much I loved it without her push.”

Dahyun heard some echoes of her own experience in Momo’s words, and out of nowhere decided to do the most masochistic thing possible.

“How’d you guys start dating?”

At this, Momo’s face melted into the dopiest smile imaginable. “We were always pretty much dating, without even trying. You might’ve noticed that we’re kind of touchy?” 

Dahyun had to chuckle, because “kind of touchy” didn’t even begin to describe the amount of PDA the cheer squad was subjected to every practice. Momo rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, well, if you think it’s gross now, imagine what it was like before we were dating. Doing all of the same stuff, just with no feelings to excuse it with. Of course, I realized there were feelings when we were in middle school. But I didn’t tell Sana anything. It could have ruined everything so quickly. I mean, she was my best friend in the world, I knew she wouldn’t be mean about it, but if she didn’t feel the same way, I was doomed. So I just decided not to tell her, I thought it would be easier.

“Then we got to high school. Everything romance related got way more intense. Sana never really talked about crushes with me, which I always thought was kind of weird, but I was also totally okay with avoiding that subject altogether. She dragged me to a Halloween party during freshman year. I was wearing some lame costume from Monsters Inc. and she was dressed as Mera, you know, the girl from Aquaman?” Momo grinned sheepishly. “I don’t want to be weird and say too much, but she had on a skin-tight body suit and a bright red wig.” Dahyun started to blush at just the thought. “She looked incredible. So, of course, I had to be dumb and get all sloppy drunk.”

“You confessed to her while drunk?” Dahyun asked, a little aghast.

“No, of course not,” Momo said. “I didn’t confess, I just kissed her.”

Dahyun’s jaw dropped, and Momo was quick to defend herself.

“That’s just how we are!” she insisted. “We never did a lot with words, it was more about action. But, anyways, she kissed me back, revealed she’d been in love with me since kindergarten and apparently I was late to the party, and we’ve been together ever since. The end.”

“Wow.” Dahyun couldn’t find the words for how she was feeling. On one hand, that was an unbelievably cute story and the stars Momo got in her eyes whenever she talked about Sana were incredibly endearing. On the other, another heaping scoop of guilt and desperation was added onto the pile quickly growing in Dahyun’s chest. If Momo had been worried about losing Sana because of her feelings, the worry was ten-fold for Dahyun. Not only would she lose Sana, but also Momo, and the entire cheer squad. And dear God, they were in a relationship, why did she have to feel this way?

“Yeah,” Momo said. She returned to normal, the haze of love disappearing from her eyes. “Anyways, what I was trying to tell you is that it’s okay if you’ve never had friends to sit with at lunch before. And it’s okay if you want to just keep eating alone in the library. But the girls would really love to have you. They all think you’re hilarious and want to get to know you better. You could just try it out for a day, see if you like it? Or I could come eat lunch in here with you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” came Dahyun’s immediate reply.

“Do you not want me to?” Momo asked. It’s not as though she was being purposefully pouty to make Dahyun feel guilty, but that’s just the kind of person Momo was.

“No, it’s not that,” Dahyun said, and as the words left her mouth, she was shocked to find that they were not a lie. This lunch, though less silent and more emotional than any other Dahyun had experienced, had actually been… sort of nice. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

Momo nodded cheerfully. The smile she gave then matched the one she was wearing the next day, when Dahyun approached the cheer table with all the confidence of a baby deer learning how to walk.

“Hey!” Momo greeted, unwinding her arm from her girlfriend’s shoulders. Sana looked up to see what had stolen her attention and immediately brightened.

“Dahyun! Come sit next to me!”

Just managing to take the unoccupied spot on the bench next to Sana before her legs gave out, Dahyun sat rigidly straight, fidgeting with her lunch box and generally feeling overwhelmed. 

Sitting across from her, Jeongyeon grinned. “Dude, thank god you’re here. Nobody at this table appreciates my tiktoks like you do.”

“That’s because they’re trash, Jeongyeon.” Nayeon smiled kindly at Dahyun. “Don’t feel the need to humor her, it will only make it worse.”

“Shush.” Jeongyeon shoved her phone across the table at the same time Jihyo began to berate Nayeon for being too harsh. In spite of the nerves, Dahyun found herself snorting with laughter at every video Jeongyeon showed her. Slowly but surely, the tension began to melt away. Nayeon dragged her into a debate about skittles flavors that went on for entirely too long, and Mina slid half an orange her way when she caught her glancing at it. Sana, as always, was a ball of energy almost too bright to look at, and every time their arms so much as ghosted next to each other, Dahyun felt a subtle ebb and flow in her stomach, gentle and comfortable. She kept flicking her gaze to Momo, anxious that, by some magnificent feat of telepathy, she would catch on to Dahyun’s less-than-platonic feelings for her girlfriend. But she just smirked, giving Dahyun a look that said, _You see? Eating lunch with other people isn’t all that bad. I told you I was right_. And yeah, Dahyun supposed, she had been a little bit right. 

As Dahyun’s time with the cheer squad progressed, she steadily became more comfortable with the idea of having friends. It stopped being as big of a shock when someone would wave at her in the hallways, she became more accustomed to getting texts and knowing what to respond to them. Her parents took note of her newfound confidence and were flush with pride after seeing her brightness squandered for so long. They seemed to think that this mascot thing was the best thing that had ever happened to her. And Dahyun was inclined to agree.

Of course, she loved performing and making students smile, but her secret passion stubbornly remained. Sana never stopped being friendly and Dahyun never stopped pining after her. It did become easier, a bit less desperate after a while, but that was not through any growth on Dahyun’s part. If there was any sort of success in their relationship, it was entirely due to Sana and, to Dahyun’s neverending surprise, Momo.

The two juniors had been nice to Dahyun since their first meeting, but by the end of the year, they were going a bit further than _nice_. Dahyun found herself included in nearly everything they did. She spotted for them during practice, rode in Momo’s car to get smoothies on the weekends, received daily, emoji-drenched texts from them in the group chat Sana had started for them. She didn’t want to surrender herself too much to delusion, but Dahyun began to fancy herself special to them. There were even moments when it felt like maybe, just maybe, she was a part of their relationship. Not that she lingered too long on those moments, thought about them late at night, fantasized about a world where she could go further than just a hand-hold when Sana forgot her gloves and Momo was being playfully fickle. No, she didn’t really think about them all that much. It was just wonderful to feel included.

The year passed by faster than Dahyun ever would have thought possible, but it was also probably the best year of her life. And the universe has that policy, where the worst of times seem to drag on for an eternity and the best never seem to stick around. It was the last pep rally of the year, a grand send off for the seniors and a huge celebration of no-more-homework for everyone else. The cheer squad had really pulled out all the stops for this last routine, Momo’s talent for choreography shining through every move, and Dahyun admired them from the sidelines as she waited for her cue. She really felt proud for what she was able to contribute to the squad. She’d never felt the joy of being on a team before, and now that she had, she wasn’t looking forward to giving it up for the summer.

But, she thought to herself as she rushed out to join the squad, she didn’t really have to give it up. Nayeon had already announced her plans to invite them to her beach house and Jihyo insisted that she would write a letter every week from her summer-long Model UN summit. And Sana and Momo made no signs of slowing down their affections any time soon. 

Dahyun finished her dance with a flourish, striking a magnificent pose, and the crowd went wild. It was probably the schools-end energy going to their heads as opposed to Dahyun’s flawless dance moves, but a golden feeling lit up her chest nonetheless. The feeling refused to dim; when Sana and Momo congratulated her on a dance well done with twin kisses to the beak, it grew so bright that it threatened to burn up the suit from the inside out. 

Long after the final bell had rung and most students had fled the school for the warm embrace of summer break, Dahyun was trudging through the darkened halls, lugging a 50-pound eagle suit and a smile that refused to slip from her face. She’d stuck around with the rest of the squad to help clean up, and even after the strenuous feats of cleaning she’d partaken in, a balloon of elation continued to swell in her chest. 

After nearly losing her fight with the mascot costume as she wrestled it into the storage closet, Dahyun headed back to the locker room to collect her backpack. The door was propped open, meaning she didn’t need to track down a janitor to unlock it for her, and this seemed to her a remarkable stroke of good luck. She was carried through the door by high spirits and rounded the corner with a spring her step, only for the sight she discovered to promptly and succinctly burst her bubble.

Sana had Momo pressed up against the lockers, and they were locked at the lips. Dahyun’s eyes blew wide, her stomach dropping to the floor. Her gaze darted to Momo’s hand under Sana’s shirt and the hem of her uniform slowly drifting upwards. She caught a glimpse of Sana’s tongue, and Momo’s subsequent moan made her let out a pathetic squeak. 

“Oh my god.” 

Momo broke from the kiss, meeting Dahyun’s shocked gaze with what might have been bashfulness. 

“What?”

Sana turned around, brow furrowed, but seeing who it was, she relaxed into an easy-going smile _._

“Oh, hey, Dahyun,” she said, still a bit breathless. Her hair was mussed, and on any other occasion, Dahyun might have wanted to reach out and smooth it down, but this was unlike any other occasion. Dahyun had never felt so out of place in her life.

“Sorry you had to witness that,” Momo joked, adjusting the straps of her top. 

“Heh,” Dahyun chuckled weakly. “You don’t need to apologize. I mean, you guys practically make out every practice, anyway.” She hoped desperately that she was coming across as casual and totally unfazed, but suspected that wasn’t the case. Every word left a bitter taste in her mouth. 

“What can I say, if you had a girlfriend this hot, wouldn’t you be all over her?” Sana giggled, snaking an arm around Momo’s waist and pulling her closer. Dahyun felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Momo grinned in response, bringing her own arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders. She cast a look Dahyun’s way. “Did you forget something in here or?”

“Oh,” Dahyun broke from her stupor, prying her eyes away from Sana’s flushed collarbones and Momo’s glitter-painted fingernails. “Yeah, I just left my backpack in my locker. I’ll be out of your hair in just a second.”

“We should probably get going anyways,” Sana said, disentangling her body from Momo’s to pick up her own discarded backpack. “Do you want a ride, Dahyunnie?”

“Oh, no,” Dahyun said, busying herself with her combination lock to avoid making eye contact. She was a horrible liar. “My mom’s coming to pick me up.”

Momo pouted. “But I thought we were going to get ready for the party together.” 

Dahyun fumbled nervously with her backpack, heaving it out of the locker and pretending to search through it for something. 

“I don’t think I’m going to go to the party actually.”

She had actually been looking forward to this party for months, something both juniors knew all too well. Momo’s pout deepened.

She got closer, spoke more carefully. Dahyun really wished she wouldn’t. 

“Does this have anything to do with the insecurities we talked about? Because I guarantee, everyone at the party will be ecstatic to see you there.”

Dahyun looked up shyly, facing down Momo’s concern. God damn it, why did she have to be so nice all the time? She was so caring and pretty and perfect and no wonder Sana liked her so much. It was so frustrating, but so heartwarming at the same time.

“No, it’s not any of that,” Dahyun said. “I’m just not feeling up to it. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t apologize,” Sana said. “We don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. We’ll text you later, okay?”

Dahyun met Sana’s eye for only a second before she couldn’t handle it any longer and dropped her gaze back down to the floor. “Okay.”

“See you, Dubu!”

The locker room was empty, and Dahyun’s chest felt unbearably tight. She screwed up her face, grasp tight around the tide of tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. Why was she even upset? She knew they were dating, she knew they probably made out sometimes. She knew that she was just their friend. Why was this hitting her so hard?

_Because you let yourself think you were something more._

Well, not anymore. 

Dahyun sniffed, pulling herself out of her thoughts and on to her feet. This, painful though it may be, was a necessary wake up call. The universe could not send a more obvious sign. Something had to change, and it had to change soon. She shouldered her backpack, coughing to loosen the choking feeling in her throat, and left the locker room, texting her mom to ask for a ride home.


	2. Sophomore Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Thank you for all the feedback and kudos, it genuinely means the world. I hope the ending of the last one wasn't too painful, and I hope you like this chapter as well. Enjoy! (Also btw this is the chapter where my chaeyu fic becomes relevent, still don't have to read it to understand I don't think)

In reality, the summer following Dahyun’s freshman year was unremarkable. She went on long bike rides and read beneath trees when the weather was good; when it wasn’t, she played card games with her parents and practiced piano. The days were not distinct from one another, and soon they faded into one grey-toned stretch of simple human existence, no more, no less. And Dahyun tried to remind herself everyday, lest her feelings get too far away from her, that this was how she’d spent every summer since she could remember. That she didn’t need to feel sad, or abandoned, or lonely. Because she wasn’t any of those things. She was fine. This was normal.

One of the annoying habits of good things is that they can come so subtly, exist just below perception, and then only be painfully obvious once they’ve disappeared. And the more abrupt the disappearance, the harder it is to convince yourself that the good thing wasn’t really all that good in the first place. Especially when the good thing sends you near-daily text messages in the group chat you share with her.

Denial can only carry you so far in a case like this, but Dahyun made it her personal mission of the summer to test denial’s stamina. She didn’t see any other option for going forward. At some point during the school year, she had been lulled into a false sense of security, allowed herself to view her feelings for Sana as harmless, as opposed to the precarious powderkeg they actually were. She had blinded herself to the danger they posed for the sake of chasing acceptance where none would ever be found, and these feelings would remain a glaring vulnerability until Dahyun began to view them with appropriate caution. So she crafted her master plan.

_ Kim Dahyun’s Master Plan for Viewing Feelings for Minatozaki Sana with Appropriate Caution (Title subject to change) _

  1. _Make a valiant effort to forget feelings entirely and hope they stop happening._
  2. _In the event that step 1 is unsuccessful, try it for another week and see if any progress is made. Repeat until progress is made._
  3. Delete the emojis from her contact name in your phone because she put the glittery pink heart there without your permission and it makes your stomach flutter every time it appears in your notifications.
  4. Respond in the group chat cordially and with warmth, but invite no further conversation or requests to “meet up” or “hang out.”
  5. If requests are made, respond regretfully but solidly in the negative (cite family camping trips, church meetings, fashion malfunctions, etc.)
  6. Never, under any circumstances, indulge the possibility that she feels the same way. Even when she invites you to the beach or tries to bring you cookies to cheer you up after “your favorite jeans got singed on a family camping trip and you have to spend all day fixing them.” She is in a relationship, and you are delusional.



Now, Dahyun prided herself on her planning abilities. They had carried her through many a jam-packed week, expertly managing to find time for homework, cheer practice, piano, and at least one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer per day. But this master plan was not accomplishing nearly as much as she might have hoped. As both creator and sole follower of said master plan, one might claim that the fault for such inefficiency could only lie with her, and to that Dahyun would respond, shut up.

She knew from the beginning that step 1 was a bit of a long shot, hence the inclusion of step 2, but she really did try her best. Her attempts to forget Sana’s smile, or her laugh, or the way she made Dahyun feel like a person worthy of respect and love, proved futile despite her best efforts. Try as she might, her heart persistently skipped a beat at the remembrance of Sana’s every little quality, quirk, or attribute. It was clear that she was too far gone to ever get over her feelings via brute-force forgetfulness, though admittedly that should have been obvious when she started crafting master plans relating to the topic. 

Texting posed the next wrench in Dahyun’s plan, as despite the fact that Dahyun deleted all emojis related to Sana (and Momo, for good measure) from her contacts, they sent her plenty of messages to make up for the loss. And the vast majority of those messages contained some sort of plea to join them on a drive, or come get lunch with them, or generally spend extended periods of time in their company. Dahyun managed to keep herself from those entanglements, though not as smoothly as she had imagined, and the requests trickled off over time. Which hurt far more than receiving them had. But oh well.

Intuitive to a fault, Sana and Momo seemed to, by the end of the summer, have picked up on the fact that Dahyun was maybe, just slightly, a little bit avoiding them. But they didn’t proceed to guilt-trip her or demand any explanations. They didn’t mention it at all. They just gave her space, and time, and sent her stupid memes every once and a while. Suffice it to say, they were incredibly kind and caring and the best friends a socially-awkward rising-sophomore could ask for. 

_ Friends. _ Boy howdy, that word just would not leave her alone. Dahyun’s relationship with the concept of friends had been a veritable roller coaster for the past year, going from “that’s no big deal” to “maybe that sounds nice” to “I’ve been missing out for my entire life and I can never go back” all in the span of 9 months. As the summer progressed, her feelings on friends settled somewhere between “this is some sick joke the universe is playing on me” and “I need to make the most of it regardless”. 

So Dahyun was coming to terms with it, really. She was able (using the Instagram account Momo had set up for her) to see a picture of Sana and Momo, lounging on a beach in bikinis with smiles brighter than the sunset behind them, and not recoil or shrink away. She liked the photo and left a comment with three crying-laughing emojis, which she got the impression could mean literally anything given the context. Sana liked her comment, and replied with a heart-eyes face. Momo replied with a kissy face. Dahyun took it like a champ. 

So, by the end of the summer, Dahyun had no tan to speak off but, she believed, certainly thicker skin. Never again would she allow herself to be carried off by wishful thinking or delusion. She would have friends, and she would be happy with them. And it would be just fine.

Dahyun spent the entire first week of school on edge. In all fairness, that was typically how she spent the first week of a new school year, but this edge was a very specific edge. This was not the exasperated edge of sudden re-immersion into teenage absurdity, nor was it the intimidating edge of a complete new round of adults to impress. No, this was the frantic, jittery edge dedicated to Sana and Momo. 

Though she had been moderately successful in putting off this inevitable collision for months, Dahyun quickly found avoidance no longer a viable strategy within the confines of school. For one thing, Sana and Momo seemed to be everywhere. Their laughs echoed down crowded hallways, their perfume lingered in Chemistry classrooms. Every swishing ponytail, every approaching footstep belonged to them. She might have been going insane, but Dahyun felt haunted, without having caught so much as a glimpse of them since school started.

That was about to change however. Jihyo announced in the cheer group chat that the annual strategy session would be hosted at her house on Friday. Dahyun knew all about the annual strategy session. Every girl on the squad had some wild anecdote, involving some combination of drunken mistakes and broken bones, that could be traced back to the annual strategy session. It was supposed to be really fun. Dahyun was on edge.

Her mom dropped her off at Jihyo’s house, with a parting kiss on the cheek and a stern warning not to make any bad decisions. Dahyun nodded along mutely, reconsidering her decision to accept her mom’s offer of a ride. She’d recently acquired her driver’s license and was fairly comfortable with the ordeal of driving, but she didn’t believe in her ability to actually arrive at the meeting under such intense pressure. It’d be a miracle if she’d made it out of the garage. And that lack of faith proved reasonable, seeing as she stood at the end of Jihyo’s driveway for a solid ten minutes, summoning the gargantuan amounts of effort necessary to propel herself towards the front door. Pressing the doorbell nearly threw out her back. 

Over the ringing in her ears, Dahyun could hardly hear the doorbell chime. She had just barely pulled her hand back when the door swung open, and Dahyun found herself engulfed in a soft, lemon-scented cloud of pink.

“Dahyunnie, I missed you so much!”

Dahyun inhaled sharply, the pressure in her chest pouring out like a burst balloon. Sana pulled away from the hug, holding Dahyun at arms length to get a good look at her.

“Did you get taller?”

“I, uh,” Dahyun stammered. Her eyes struggled to focus, take in the sight before her. “You dyed your hair.”

Sana nodded, giggling and offering her hair for Dahyun to feel. It was silky and light, smooth to the touch. Dahyun couldn’t breathe.

“Correction.” Momo appeared from behind, with a smirk on her face and a bowl of brownie batter in her arms. “ _ I _ dyed her hair. Did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. I want to hug you too, Dahyunnie, but my arms are kind of occupied at the moment.”

“It’s alright,” Dahyun murmured, hesitantly meeting Momo’s eye. She just grinned in return and nodded back towards the kitchen.

“I’m sure Sana can hug you enough for the two of us. Come on in, we’re all waiting on you.”

With Sana’s hands around her waist steering her forward, Dahyun made her way towards the kitchen, following the sound of music and laughter. The entire cheer team, excepting those who had graduated, were clustered around the room, drinks in hand and smiles on faces. Catching sight of Dahyun, they all turned. 

“Hey, Dahyun!”

“Dubs, it’s been so long!”

“Did you like the tiktoks I sent you?”

Too overwhelmed to answer, Dahyun just blushed, her heart swelling with barely restrained joy. Maybe she hadn’t realized just how much she missed them. Or hadn’t let herself realize.

“Welcome to the party!” Nayeon shouted. “Now that you’re here, things can really get started!”

She pressed a can of something into Dahyun’s hand and cranked up the volume on the speaker. The squad went back to their talking, dancing, or whatever drinking game they’d been playing. A laugh bubbled up in Dahyun’s throat, unrestrained and restless after being contained for so long.

“Sure is some excellent strategizing happening here,” she said.

Sana shrugged, swaying her back and forth to the music. “That’s what the first practice is for.”

Momo slid her tray of brownies into the oven, handing Dahyun a spatula covered in batter. She nodded at the can in Dahyun’s hand. “You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.”

Dahyun stared at it blankly. “Are you drinking?” 

“She’s the designated driver,” Sana said into Dahyun’s ear, reaching around to steal a swipe of batter from the spatula. “But I’ll be drinking, you won’t be doing it alone. We’ll make sure you’re safe.”

Maybe it was the euphoria of returning to cheer, or of having friends again, or simply the warm press of Sana against her back, but Dahyun found herself lit up with recklessness. She popped the tab on the can and took a deep sip. It tasted like raspberries and sunshine. 

“Good?” Momo smirked.

Dahyun beamed. “Incredible.”

Having skipped the end of the year party, Dahyun had yet to get the chance to see the cheer squad at their peak, intoxicated energy. But as the night progressed and they all just let loose, Dahyun could clearly see the effects the alcohol was having on them. Nayeon and Jeongyeon finally ceased their bickering, choosing instead to alternate between sappy compliments and passionate dance battles. Mina was more loud and outgoing than Dahyun had ever seen her, singing along to the music and pulling Momo into some dance they both knew but Dahyun didn’t recognize. Sana got impossibly more clingy, and dedicated as she was to making sure Dahyun was being safe and having a good time, she hardly left her side. Dahyun, well, she just went red in the face and stayed that way for the duration of the night.

Jihyo was probably the most reasonable drunk of the group. She had skipped vice-captaincy entirely and become Sana’s co-captain as a junior, which was a responsibility she took very seriously. She made a few attempts, between spontaneous karaoke performances and creative shot contests, to have genuine discussion with them about planning for the year, but inevitably they were derailed.

“I think we should hold tryouts next week and try to have our first practice the week after that,” she said, speaking up to be heard over the music and only slurring her words slightly. The few that were paying attention, gathered in a loose circle on the living room carpet, all nodded along. Then Sana let out a cry that could only be described as distraught.

“No,” she moped, leaning into Dahyun’s neck and squeezing tight around her middle. “We can’t get new members, then Dahyunnie’s not going to be the baby anymore.”

It looked like tears were about to start flowing soon, and Dahyun floundered in Sana’s arms, trying fruitlessly to console her. Thankfully, Momo swooped in before it got too bad, pulling Sana away.

“Don’t worry, Dahyun’s always going to be the baby,” she soothed, shooting Dahyun an apologetic look. “Here, have a brownie.”

Maybe in her sober state, Dahyun would have been horribly flustered by that comment, blushed bright red and stammered like a fool, but she was feeling dizzy and light, and was already bright red, and instead she started laughing and didn’t stop. Momo chuckled along with her, subtly prying her almost-empty can from her hand. The laughs progressed into hiccups and then her stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch and the room flipped upside down. Head swimming, she clung to Momo’s arm, trying to make everything stop spinning. 

“Alright, I think you two need to get home.” Momo shouldered the weight of both Sana and Dahyun, pulling them up from the carpet. The last thing Dahyun remembered of the night was hearing Momo thank Jihyo for the party, and then everything melted into black.

The sunrise had never been so spiteful as it was that morning. Light scraped at the inside of Dahyun’s pounding skull, no amount of squinting or scowling making it stop. Dahyun buried her face in her pillow, burrowing deeper into lemon-scented softness. She tongued at her aching teeth, the festering taste on her tongue complimented foully by the dryness of her mouth. With a long groan, she clung even tighter to her pillow, as if that would make the torture stop. 

Her pillow let out a sleepy grumble in response.

Dahyun jerked back, catching a bright flash of pink before she collided with the wall, solidly smacking her already throbbing head. The wall wrapped its arms around her and pulled her closer.

“Dahyunnie, it’s so early, calm down.”

With her racing heart and burning eyes, calm seemed a distant memory to Dahyun, a dream she half remembered but would never have again. From what she could piece together of the previous night and her current predicament, she had gotten absolutely, blackout drunk at the first party she’d ever been to and wound up in some bed with Sana and, to make an educated guess about the toned biceps currently encircling her torso, Momo _.  _ They weren’t at her house, she had no idea where she was actually, and she was about four inches away from Sana’s face. In a bed. With Sana’s girlfriend cuddling her. She wriggled out of Momo’s grasp and rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling as her head rippled with spikes of pain. Did every hangover come with this much guilt, or was she just that bad at drinking?

Sana giggled as she opened her eyes, bringing her hand up to rest on Momo’s shoulder. Dahyun found herself squished between them as they shared a groggy, good-morning peck. She kept her eyes on the ceiling.

“Momo, can you go get the baby some pain medicine? This is going to be a rough morning for her.”

“Which one of you is the baby again?” Momo asked as she rolled out of bed.

“Obviously Dahyunnie,” Sana said, punctuating the sentence with a tap to the tip of Dahyun’s nose. “But if you’d like to get your other baby some aspirin too, she wouldn’t protest.”

Momo snorted. “Coming right up. Sana, can you fill her in on what happened last night? I doubt she remembers a thing.” 

Dahyun swallowed thickly. “Something happened?” she asked, trying to keep the anxiety out of her tone.

“Nothing bad,” Sana soothed, running her hand up and down Dahyun’s arm. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Rubbing her eyes, Dahyun struggled to remember anything of the night, other than Sana giggling against her neck and the feeling of Momo’s eyes on them and the taste of brownie mixed with electricity and unrepentant joy. 

“Uh, leaving the party, kind of.”

Sana nodded. “Well, Momo drove us to her house. That’s normally what we do after parties. We would have dropped you at yours, but you weren’t in any state to give us your address and besides, we didn’t think you wanted your parents to see you drunk. We sent them a text from your phone though, they gave us permission to have a sleepover.”

Dahyun pushed herself up on her elbows, leaning against the headboard. “Did I act really stupid? I’m sorry.”

“No, no, you were fine,” Sana said. “You were just a bit out of it.”

“Actually, I think we need to talk.” Momo said seriously, entering the room with a pill bottle and two glasses of water intricately balanced in her arms. She handed the water to Sana and tipped two pills into Dahyun’s palm. “I really thought we were friends, Dahyun, I can’t believe you’d make moves on my girlfriend.”

Dahyun’s eyes shot open. Nearly knocking the water from Sana’s hands, she lurched forward, panicking. 

“What? I’m so sorry, Momo, you know I’d never—”

“Actually,” Sana interrupted sternly, “I’m the one who needs to talk to you. I can’t believe you’d make moves on  _ my  _ girlfriend.”

Dahyun blinked. “I… what?”

They dissolved into giggles, sharing their little joke as Dahyun’s head swam with confusion. In her dazed state, Sana managed to gently unfurl Dahyun’s palm and make her take the two pills, bringing one of the cups up her lips so she could wash them down.

“You didn’t really do anything,” Momo soothed. “You and Sana were both wasted, you just started to get a bit touchy when we carried you inside.”

“And then you pulled Momo into bed with us when she tried to sleep on the couch,” Sana added. “Which is very chivalrous of you, might I add, even if you were drunk and whining about how you didn’t want to be alone with me.”

“Oh, I’m,” Dahyun stuttered, cheeks burning. “I’m sorry for all of that. I didn’t mean to be such a hassle.”

“No hassle whatsoever, Dahyunnie,” Momo said. “Sometimes I don’t want to be alone with Sana either.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re worse than Dahyun even when you’re sober.”

Sana giggled, conceding the point and pulling Momo in for a cuddle. Dahyun shifted away from them, diverting her gaze around the room. Momo’s room was a bit of a mess, clothes scattered around the floor and an avalanche of unorganized papers covering her desk. But the essence of the room was very comfortable, fairy lights and plushies and a wall papered with polaroids of her and Sana, spanning the years they’d known each other. Turning back to look at them, they might as well have been posing for one of those photos, wrapped up in one another, prepared to be immortalized. Dahyun’s heart twinged.

“I should probably go,” she said, heaving herself out of the bed. A wave of nausea nearly swept her off her feet, setting her back a few steps.

“Alright, yeah, let me get dressed,” Momo said, extracting herself from Sana’s grip.

“What? No, you don’t have to,” Dahyun insisted, though the weakness in her voice wasn’t very convincing.

“I don’t have to get dressed?” Momo asked suggestively.

“No, I meant—”

“I agree with Dahyun,” Sana announced. “I don’t think you should ever get dressed.”

Momo snickered. “You’re really sweet, but I probably shouldn't meet Dahyun’s parents for the first time in a crop top and pajama shorts. I don’t think that’d make a very good impression.”

“It’s making a good enough impression on me.”

Dahyun rubbed at her eyes, trying to clear the spots from her vision and erase any thoughts she was having about Momo in a crop top and pajama shorts. Or meeting her parents. “I meant you don’t need to drive me, I can walk or something.”

“You don’t even know where you are,” Momo said. “Come on, I’ll buy you some breakfast to help with that hangover.”

“If you’re getting breakfast, I want to come too.” Sana heaved herself out of bed. “It’ll be fun, we can have a little pajama party.”

“I’m not even wearing pajamas.” Dahyun looked down at her jeans and sleep-rumpled shirt. She looked up to a face-full of blue and green fabric.

“Get changed, Dahyunnie, I’m going to ask my parents to borrow the car.” Momo ducked out the door, leaving Dahyun staring at the Monsters Inc themed pajama set she was holding.

Sana whined. “She gave you the good pajamas.” 

Clutching tightly to the soft fabric in her hands, Dahyun tried to protest that there was no reason for her to change into pajamas after she’d already woken up, and they didn’t have to take her to breakfast, and she could probably bike home or something, but Sana wasn’t going to hear it. She’d already covered her eyes and turned around, allowing Dahyun all the privacy she could get in such a small room. Dahyun heaved a sigh and started tugging off her jeans.

“Hey, Dahyun?”

Dahyun eyed Sana’s back cautiously. She was rocking back and forth on the tips of her toes, almost nervously. It made her hair bounce.

“Yes, Sana?”

“I just wanted to say that I’m really happy that we got to hang out again. I don’t know if you want to talk about whatever happened over summer, you totally don’t have to if you don’t want to, but Momo and I missed you a lot. I guess I just wanted to say thanks, and sorry if we did something wrong.”

Dahyun froze, shirt halfway buttoned. Clearing her throat, she said, “You didn’t do anything wrong. I should be apologizing to you. I don’t know, I was just going through something over the summer, I didn’t mean to make you feel like it was your fault.”

“How about neither of us apologizes and you let us take you to breakfast without complaining?”

“I—” Dahyun started, and then sighed. “Yeah, sure. Deal.”

“Dahyunnie?”

“Sana?”

“Do you have clothes on?”

“Uh…” Dahyun finished her last few buttons. “Yeah, I do now.”

Sana turned around and launched herself over the bed, pulling Dahyun into a hug. It wasn’t the shivering, frantic, excited kind of hug she normally gave. It was tight, and steady, and really warm. Her hair was really pink and she smelled like lemons. And when Momo discovered them like that, she folded herself against Dahyun’s back without even asking why. Dahyun mentally found her list of rules, examined it closely, and crumpled it into a ball. She chucked that ball as far away as she could, and sank deeper into the hug.

Despite the fact that Dahyun spent a night in bed with Sana and Momo and the world did not actually explode, nor did Dahyun end up heartbroken, she still felt like it would be healthy for her to not be so fixated on them all the time. The opportunity to fixate on something else presented itself readily, in the form of one of their newest additions to the squad.

Chou Tzuyu was soft spoken, passionate, quick to smile, and all around adorable. Everyone in the squad quickly took a liking to her, including Sana, though she maintained that Dahyun would always be the baby of the team. And trailing behind the new member was her scowling, disaffected best friend Son Chaeyoung, who couldn’t care less about cheerleading and had the least subtle crush imaginable on Tzuyu. Dahyun immediately made a plan.

_ Kim Dahyun’s Master Plan For Helping Tzuyu And Chaeyoung Start Dating And Also For Thinking About Things That Aren’t Sana and Momo _

_ (Really need to work on these titles) _

  * _Help Tzuyu and Chaeyoung start dating_



  * _Think about things that aren’t Sana and Momo_



Admittedly it was not some of her best work. 

But things managed to work out in the end. After 3 months, a nice birthday party, a disaster of a basketball game, and only one person getting suspended, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were happily coupled up and Chaeyoung had relaxed her disdain for cheerleading enough to take a position as squad manager.

Now, Chaeyoung’s obvious motive for accepting the manager position was to keep an eye on Tzuyu. Cheer was an equal parts dangerous and time consuming sport, and hanging out on the sidelines of every practice allowed her to spend plenty of time with her girlfriend, as well as prevent said girlfriend from breaking any bones. Her more nefarious motive, revealed only after she’d been granted the role, was her need to tease Dahyun constantly and for all things.

See, Dahyun had, very foolishly in hindsight, revealed to Chaeyoung her feelings for Sana (it had been important in the moment, alright?) and Chaeyoung, being the stalwart and true friend that she was, waited a whole week before mercilessly making fun of her for it. It seemed to be her greatest passion in life, behind art and taking aesthetic photos of Tzuyu. She took any opportunity available to her, like in this moment, where Dahyun’s eyes might have maybe drifted towards Sana for just a second, and wasted no time before pouncing.

“Christ, stop drooling, it’s not fair to the janitors to make them do all that extra work.”

Dahyun shot her a scowl, which was not amongst her most convincing facial gestures, and Chaeyoung met it with a grin.

“I’m not drooling,” Dahyun insisted. “I was just thinking Sana looked a bit thirsty. You should get on that.”

Brushing aside the dig at her glorified water bottle girl status, Chaeyoung’s grin only widened. 

“Oh, she looks thirsty, does she? Maybe  _ you _ should go over and help her.”

“Oh, shut up.” Dahyun shoved Chaeyoung backwards, where she collapsed dramatically in her girlfriend’s lap. Tzuyu had sprained her ankle (allegedly; she insisted she was fine, but Chaeyoung wasn’t having it) and was joining them on the sidelines that practice. Dahyun had hoped this would give her an ally against Chaeyoung’s shenanigans, but unfortunately it hadn’t panned out that way. Tzuyu, though kinder and less likely to spray Dahyun with water, seemed to agree with Chaeyoung that she should “do something” about her “feelings” for Sana. Which was patently ridiculous and Dahyun refused to hear another word about it.

Leaning against Tzuyu’s shoulder, Chaeyoung bemoaned, “Did you hear that, Tzu? The chicken told me to shut up.”

“I’m an eagle and you know it,” Dahyun huffed, ruffling her feathers for emphasis. 

“No,” Chaeyoung said, leaning forward. “You’re a chicken. Why don’t you just tell her?”

Dahyun recoiled, frowning deeply. “What? What do you mean ‘why don’t I just tell her?’ You know exactly why I can’t do that.” Following Dahyun’s pointed look across the room, the trio watched as Sana and Momo successfully completed a formation and celebrated with loud cheers and a hug. Dahyun looked away, trying not to let it hurt. Because she could handle this now. She had to be able to handle it.

Chaeyoung shared an exasperated look with her girlfriend. Tzuyu sighed.

“I don’t know,” she said. “It might not go as bad as you think it will.”

“I’m sorry, are we talking about the same people?” Dahyun asked. “I swear, I’ve never seen two people so completely in love, I can’t be the one that ruins that.”

“Well,  _ I’ve _ never seen two people so willing to bring a ‘friend’ on all of their dates,” Chaeyoung said.

Dahyun frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Chaeyoung opened her mouth to respond, but Tzuyu cut her off. “I think what Chaeyoung is trying to say is, why do you think you’re going to ruin it?”

“Well, the best case scenario if I confess is that Sana returns my feelings, which is already incredibly unlikely in the first place. But then what? They break up? That’d be horrible. They’ve been together for years, they care so much about each other, they're clearly meant to be together forever. And honestly? I care a lot about Momo too. She’s one of my favorite people in the world. She’s never been anything but nice to me even as I pined after her girlfriend. She always makes me feel included. I just can’t, I refuse to hurt her like that. She’s an angel. So I’m just not going to say anything.”

As she finished, Dahyun curled in on herself, clearly declaring the matter finished. After sharing another look, Tzuyu reached out, resting her hand on Dahyun’s shoulder.

“Dahyun, have you considered that maybe you like Momo too?”

There was a pregnant pause. Dahyun looked up, expecting some sort of smile or laugh to indicate that this was all some poorly-thought-out joke, but Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were serious. She had to look away again, too many emotions and thoughts swirling around her brain too quickly. She couldn’t process them and maybe she didn’t want to process them. It felt like being drunk at that party, the room spinning and her eyes unable to focus and Momo’s arms gently pulling her up from the ground.

“I…” Dahyun swallowed, trying to clear the blockage from her throat. “What?”

“You can like more than one person at once, you know,” Chaeyoung said, very matter-of-factly.

“Well, yeah, I know that, I just…” Dahyun trailed off.

Tzuyu rested a hand on her shoulder. “Dahyun, you’re an amazing person and you deserve love just as much as anybody else. You shouldn’t deprive yourself of an opportunity to be happy just because you’re afraid that it might not go well.”

Dahyun leant away from Tzuyu’s touch, denying herself the offered support and resting her head in her hands. “Even if I did like Momo, and I’m not saying that I do, there’s no way they’d even like me back, okay? Right? That’s ridiculous.”

Dahyun didn’t even have to look up to know that Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were shooting each other a glance. Chaeyoung sighed.

“Listen, we can’t say anything for sure, and we can’t make this call for you either. But just think about it, okay? If anyone has enough love to share, it’s those two.”

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu’s words refused to leave Dahyun’s mind, no matter how hard she tried to evict them. She shouldn’t have been surprised. Repression had never been much help to her anyways, especially not where Sana and Momo were concerned. Downtrodden and emotionally worn out, she simply had to lay back and let her thoughts chase each other around her head. She wasn’t going to engage, she certainly wasn’t going to do anything about them. But she let them run, and that felt like progress all the same. 

Thankfully, she was offered a bit of reprieve by cheer. It’s harder to think about Sana and Momo when she’s trying to memorise all the steps for the newest routine. And the costume significantly impaired her peripheral vision, so even if they were less than 10 feet from her, cuddling or canoodling or whatever, she didn’t have to see it. It didn’t stop her from imagining it, but it was something.

At a basketball game a week later, halftime rapidly approaching and Dahyun priding herself for doing a particularly good job at not noticing Sana or Momo, Jihyo’s brow suddenly furrowed.

“Has anyone seen Sana or Momo?”

Damn it, no wonder she was doing so well.

“I haven’t seen them,” Jeongyeon said, and was joined by a chorus of agreement from the rest of the squad.

Dahyun pried her head off, shaking out her hair. “Where do you think they went? It’s almost halftime.”

Chaeyoung snickered from the sidelines. “Why don’t you go look for them?”

“Shut up,” Dahyun groaned, but Jihyo perked up.

“Actually, Dahyun, could you? They’ve been acting weird all day. It’s alright if they can’t perform, I just want to know if they’re okay.”

Dahyun opened her mouth to object, but at the look in Jihyo’s eyes, gently demanding, she just sighed. 

“Yeah, sure, I can go.”

Jihyo smiled. “Thank you, Dahyun. Just check the locker rooms, that’s the only place they could really be.”

Moments later, Dahyun paused at the locker room door, cringing as she remembered what happened the last time she’d walked in on Sana and Momo in this room. The months of conflict, the mental anguish it had inspired. She took a slow breath, squeezing her eyes tight, and pushed the door open. Whatever happened now couldn’t possibly be that bad.

The room seemed silent, but as she made her way down the hall, Dahyun heard a sound that made her stop dead in her tracks. Murmuring, gentle and distinctly Sana, just slightly louder than the subtle but clear sound of someone crying. She shouldn’t peek right? But she couldn’t turn around and leave without it being plainly obvious that someone had entered the locker room. On light feet, she tread to the end of the hall and glanced into the locker room proper.

Momo was slumped against Sana’s shoulder, deep sobs wracking her body, her hands limp and shaking in her lap. Sana had her in a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles into her back, her brow creased in a concerned frown.

“I’m sorry,” Momo choked, refusing to meet her girlfriend’s eye. “I didn’t mean to, please, I’m so sorry, don’t leave me-”

Sana shushed her gently. “Momo, baby, I’d never leave you, it’s going to be okay.”

“I didn’t mean to be selfish, I love you so much-”

“I love you too, it’s okay, you’re okay.”

Sana brought up a hand and wiped away Momo’s tears, blinking away some of her own as she did. Dahyun fell back against the wall, her heart pounding in her ears. What happened? Why is Momo crying, why is she afraid they’re going to break up,  _ what happened? _ Over the throbbing in her ears, she didn’t hear the sound of Momo regaining her breath or the two girls standing up. Too late, she realized she was trapped. 

Momo turned the corner, and her eyes flew wide.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Dahyun just managed to get out before Momo scampered away, shoulders shaking even more as she left. Sana rounded the corner next and met Dahyun with the same shocked look.

“Oh,” she gasps, voice faint and breathy. “Dahyun.”

“Hey,” Dahyun said, awkwardly.

Sana folded her arms across her chest. “How much did you hear?”

“Nothing!” Dahyun said. “Well, not much. I just got here. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, Jihyo told me to come find you and she said you’d probably be in here and I didn’t realize what you guys were doing and I have no idea what you guys were talking about or anything like that but—” She paused to breathe. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Sana said, taking a deep breath and regaining a bit of her composure. “You don’t need to be sorry, it was an honest mistake.”

“I’m afraid I made it worse though,” Dahyun said. “Momo looked really upset when she saw me and I think she started crying more and—”

“It’s not your fault, Dahyun,” Sana said, gentle but inflexible.

Dahyun nodded reluctantly. “Is she going to be okay?”

Sana’s gaze drifted to the door at the end of the hall, as if her eyes could see through it and follow the retreating shape of her girlfriend. “Yeah, yeah, she’ll be fine. She’s strong.”

“Are… are you two going to be okay?” Dahyun asked quietly.

Sana’s gaze snapped back to Dahyun, something calculating, considerate pooling in her eyes. Then she summoned a smile, weak and watery and not altogether honest, from where, Dahyun couldn’t say.

“Yeah, I think we’ll be just fine. You don’t need to worry about us.” She pressed a kiss to Dahyun’s cheek, a soft, burning wisp of contact. “Now I’m going to go find her.”

Frozen in place for a second, Dahyun just managed to turn and call after Sana as she opened the door. “Jihyo said you don’t have to perform, by the way.”

“Thank you, Dahyun,” Sana said back, and she said it like it was the most sincere thing she’d ever felt.

Momo approached Dahyun at her locker the next day. Neither of them seemed prepared for it. 

“Hey, Dahyun, I just wanted to apologize for what you walked in on yesterday.” Momo’s voice was tight and brittle, on the verge of cracking. Her speech was almost certainly rehearsed.

“Actually, I wanted to apologize to you,” Dahyun said. “You don’t need to apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well, you didn’t do anything wrong either.”

“Well…”

Momo sighed, her chest heaving. “Sana and I need to talk to you about something. Could you meet us before practice this afternoon?”

Dahyun chuckled nervously. “Am I in trouble?”

“No.” Momo said quickly. “No, of course not. We just need to talk to you. And please say yes. If you don’t show, Sana’s going to think I chickened out of asking you.”

“Why would you chicken out?”

Momo tensed. “No reason. I have to go. Please show up. Or don’t, if you don’t want to. Oh god, I have to go. Goodbye, Dahyunnie.”

“And then she just left! That’s weird, right?”

Chaeyoung nodded her agreement. “Yeah, that’s pretty weird. Not as weird as you pulling me into this bathroom against my will so you could vent about your crush, but still pretty weird.”

Dahyun groaned, leaning her head back against the tile wall. “That’s not helpful. I don’t know what I did.”

“Why are you so sure you did anything?” Chaeyoung asked.

“Momo doesn’t act like that. I’m the one who acts like that! I mean, we’ve talked about how she’s been shy in the past, but there’s no reason that one day she’d be all bold and friendly and the next she can hardly look me in the eye.” Dahyun ran her fingers anxiously through her hair. 

“You’re going to go bald if you keep that up,” Chaeyoung commented. “She’s probably just embarrassed. You walked in on a clearly private moment, it’s understandable. And then you told me about it, which was not your coolest move ever.”

“Oh god, do you think they know that I told you and the meeting is so they can tell me they don’t want to be friends anymore?”

“Considering you told me after Momo asked you to meet, I think that’s almost impossible.” Chaeyoung placed her hands solidly on Dahyun’s shoulders, forcing her to meet her eye. “Also, they love you, they aren’t going to give it up just like that, especially when they’ve both told you to stop worrying about it. It’s probably not that big of a deal. Can I go back to my girlfriend now?”

Dahyun’s eye went wide.“Chaeng, what if they broke up?” 

“What?”

“Momo seemed really afraid that they were going to break up. What else could make her that nervous? They’ve called a meeting to tell me that they’ve broken up,” Dahyun said, frantically.

Chaeyoung groaned. “That’s not a thing that people do, Dahyun.”

The bell rang out over head and the hallways outside filled with the sound of students fleeing the school in droves. Dahyun flinched.

“It’s going to be fine,” Chaeyoung assured. Dahyun nodded along, but didn’t believe her in the slightest.

Nothing good ever happened in the locker room. As Dahyun slowly pushed open the door and made her way down the hall, she kept an ear out for the sound of tears. There was nothing. And when she rounded the corner, she was not met with the sight of Sana and Momo pressed up against the lockers. They sat quietly together on the bench, hands in their laps, waiting for Dahyun to arrive. 

“Hey,” Dahyun said. Sana and Momo shared a look, and Dahyun’s heart hammered a staccato beat on the bars of her ribcage.

Sana spoke first. “Dahyun, we have something we’d like to share with you. Need to share with you.” 

“Okay…” Dahyun replied.

Looking to Momo, Sana said quietly, “Do you want me to or should you…” Momo shrugged, barely able to look at either of them.

“Guys, what’s going on?” Dahyun asked, trying to be gentle. “You’re kinda freaking me out.”

“Okay, I can just—” Sana grabbed Momo’s hand and squeezed tight. Looking back to Dahyun she said, “We like you.”

Silence spanned the distance between them. Momo leaned into Sana, finally able to look up at Dahyun to gauge her reaction. Whatever she saw apparently invigorated a bit of her confidence, because she sat up straighter. Dahyun couldn’t imagine what it was, because she hardly understood how she was feeling herself, let alone what she was showing on her face.

“What?” Dahyun asked. “That’s what you wanted to tell me?”

Sana surveyed her hesitantly. “Yes? What did you think we were going to say?”

“I thought you were going to say that you’d broken up,” Dahyun said, but the words seemed foolish even as they left her mouth. Sana snorted, and Momo even managed to crack a little smile.

“Oh, God no,” Sana said. “No, never, why would you think that?”

“Well, I heard Momo yesterday and I…” Dahyun paused, a thought dawning in her head. “Was that about me?”

Momo nodded, a bit sheepishly. “I hope you can understand why I ran away when I saw you. I thought you knew and I… I don’t know, I was scared.”

“I don’t, I don’t understand,” Dahyun stuttered. “I mean, not about the running away but the, the… what?”

Momo took a deep breath, standing up from the bench. “I’ve liked you since the strategy session. But I mean, I didn’t want to be creepy, because you were drunk and it was your first party and, you know, I had a girlfriend. Have a girlfriend. But it just got to a point where I couldn’t ignore it anymore. And I’ve told Sana everything, all my feelings and secrets and all that, for years, so she noticed that something was up. I had to tell her. And that’s what you walked in on.”

Sana joined her girlfriend, linking their hands once more. 

“For what it’s worth,” she said, “I’ve liked you since this summer. Well, probably before that, but I didn’t realize how strongly I cared for you until you weren’t there anymore. I think we both felt that way. So, you know, if Momo had just told me sooner, we could’ve made this happen way earlier. This is just like the last time—”

“You’ve known first both times,” Momo interjected. “You could’ve just as easily told me.”

“Well, how am I supposed to tell my girlfriend of three years that I have feelings for someone else?”

“I don’t know, maybe you could have just done what I did.”

“Anyway!” Sana said, directing her focus back to Dahyun. “Dahyun. We’ve both liked you for quite some time now. And we’ve talked about it with each other, and we decided you should probably be involved in the conversation too.”

Dahyun was spinning, her mind failing to accept the information laid out before her. 

“So you’re still together? For sure?” she asked.

Momo nodded. “Yes, for sure. 100 precent.”

“And you like me? Both of you? In a romantic way?”

“Well, you can have feelings for more than one person,” Sana said.

“No, I know,” Dahyun said.  _ Trust me, I know.  _ “I just, you both have feelings for me? For  _ me _ ?”

“Hey,” Momo said, stepping forward and taking one of Dahyun’s hands. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re wonderful and we care a lot about you.”

Dahyun looked down at her hand in Momo’s. “I’m just—”

“You’re not ‘just’ anything.” Sana took hold of the other hand. Their palms were warm, and their smiles were so close. “You’re funny, and you’re brilliant, and you’re adorable. I will not accept you believing anything else. Okay?”

Dahyun bit her lip, a smile sneaking on to her lips, something golden welling up in her chest, anchored by the two hands in her own.

“If you insist,” she said. 

Sana and Momo shared a look. “We do,” they said in unison.

“Now,” Sana said. “Will you please answer the question?”

Dahyun quirked her brow. “Have I been asked a question?”

Sana frowned. “Oh, shoot, right. Momo, you got this?”

Momo nodded. She squared her shoulders, all of her nerves having melted away to reveal the goofy grin Dahyun was so acquainted with. 

“Kim Dahyun,” she said. “Will you go on a date with us? Both of us? In a romantic way?”

Dahyun’s throat was tight, but her heart was soaring, free of the burdens it had been carrying for so long. “Yes, of course,” she said. 

Sana pulled them all into a hug, and Dahyun found herself at the center, surrounded on all sides by warmth and tenderness and care. She sniffed, holding back tears, and she could tell that she was not the only one.

“You’re going to have to tell us when you first caught feelings. It’s only fair,” Momo murmured into Dahyun’s hair. They laughed quietly, subtly.

“How is this going to work?” Dahyun whispered.

She felt two identical intakes of breath around her.

“We’ll figure it out,” Momo said.

“Together,” Sana said.

Dahyun discovered a lot of things through her new relationship. Things about other people: how the cheer squad thinks that they’re adorable and has been rooting for them since freshman year, how Chaeyoung is probably more invested in Dahyun’s love life than she is herself. She thought she knew everything about Sana and Momo already, but there was still a bit more to learn: how it feels when they kiss her up against the lockers after practice, how they look without their shirts on (not that she can really think to much about that one without blushing so hard she’s afraid she’ll blow an artery). But most of all, she learned things about herself.

She learned that she can make friends, that people will like her even if can be loud and silly and doesn’t always know the right thing to say or how to act or when to end her sentences because they’re getting a bit long. She learns that sometimes nerves are helpful and sometimes they are not, but she will end up in the right place no matter what. And she learns that while being invisible has it’s benefits, when Sana and Momo pull off her eagle head at the end of a basketball game and kiss her on each cheek, she feels seen. And maybe being seen has some benefits as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This was genuinely such a self indulgent labor of love, but I'm happy I've I can share some of that indulgence with you as well. Please tell me what you think, or reach out to me @bluebaric on twitter to yell at me for only writing high school aus. At least I finished this one! Have a good day, stream ICSM

**Author's Note:**

> Ah there it is! Please let me know what you think, leave a kudos or a comment if you feel so inclined. I've already got chapter two written, it should be posted pretty soon. Also, feel free to come check me out at @bluebaric on twitter. Stay hydrated and stream I Can't Stop Me.


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